Wednesday, January 8, 2014

// L A U G H T E R //

My days consist of toddler meltdowns, incessant whining and are usually shower less and sometimes even breakfast-less.  (yes, I made that word up and you could substitute lunch-less or dinner-less)  Side- note:  They usually not wine-less, which shows my priorties, I guess.

My days are freakin' hard.  I know all parents have it hard, but after joining some other moms for a play group a few weeks ago and seeing how the other kids played (mostly staying near their moms or keeping themselves occupied close by) and I watched from a distant as my boys ran in opposite directions, both needing me at the same time I realized something: having two highly spirited boys 15 months apart is insanity.  It's absolute insanity.  It's constant chaos.  Add in a speech delay and it about doubles the insanity.  I spent over an hour at the park and I don't think I had one conversation with the other moms.  I was sweating and exhausted. I left crying.  

When life gets that hard: where the playgroups that are designed to ease the stress of motherhood actually add stress, well, I'd call that rock bottom.  And before this blog succumbs to negativity I will get to my real point.

When life gets that hard, you start to laugh a whole lot more.

Laugh? Sure, the laugh may sound a little too "mental asylum" rather than "cracking up with your girlfriends over a glass of wine."  But still, it's laughing.  It brings me peace in the midst of total and utter chaos.   It keeps me from crying all the time and I've found that laughing in the face of stress is the most freeing thing I can do.

//Example//  The other day I did something completely normal in the eyes of normal human beings:  I went to the bathroom.  My boys had been playing with their toys quietly and hadn't made their way over to hang on my legs in a little while.  So, obviously, I thought it was safe to make my way to the back of the house and close the door on our bathroom.

Wrong.  So very wrong.

I heard, "MA MA MA MA MA MA MA MA"  sob, sob.  "MA MA MA!!!!!!!!!!!"  I heard the struggle of both boys to scale the gate and knock down the bathroom door.  They were frantic.  They were lost.  I had left them.  

I yelled, "It's okay boys!  Mommy's going pee pee! Just pee pee! I'm almost done!  See?  Hear the flush?  bye bye pee pee!"

And then I burst out laughing.  I had tears.  I was cracking up- it was the crazy laugh.  Did I really just say "bye bye pee pee?!"  

Yes, I did.  

And I realized something:  Sure, parenthood is full of difficulty.  But it's also full of, what I call, "meltdown laughter."  Not the toddler meltdown, but mommy meltdown laughter.  When you are too tired to be sad.  Or when you realize you use words in your every day vocabulary that consist of made-up language.  Parenthood is full of these moments and they usually come when you think it's gotten "too hard."

So, laugh.  Laugh at all of the nonsense.  Laugh when you are too tired to move.  Laugh at yourself and at the messes your toddler makes.  Laughter redirects our emotions and helps us to see the situation from a different angle.  The big picture is this: it won't always be this hard.

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  1. i am not sure i could love this ANY more. (enter maniacal laughter in agreement....) xo

  2. This is perfect! My life to a tee…except that my boys are 7 months and 22 months :) We have a lot of friends with babies, but it's nice to know someone who understands EXACTLY what I'm going through! Thank you for your honesty and also your sage advice! xo

    1. You are so welcome, lady! I have a lot of these "crazy laughter" moments haha. Boys are so fun, but mine are so energetic- even for toddlers! But it always keeps things interesting, you know? <3

  3. Love this!! I only have one boy 16 months old…. and he is a lively one. Thanks for sharing!!

    1. of course! <3 Asher is 16 months as well! Almost 17 months. :)

  4. Oh my, I so needed to hear this! "Mommy meltdown laughter" is a staple in our house :-) sometimes the laughter doesn't come until baby is asleep, and wind is in hand, but it's the best cure for the craziness! Thanks for the awesome post!

    1. yes, wine always helps with the "crazy laughter" exactly! haha. <3



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