Wednesday, January 15, 2014

// A D V E N T U R E S I N B R E A S T F E E D I N G - L A U R E N ' S S T O R Y //

I think this may be the last Adventures in Breastfeeding post!  What a sad thought!  I may have to see if others are interested, because these stories are so beautiful and are important to read.  I relate a lot to Lauren's story.  I did not have a lot of difficulties, besides a few moments where Asher lost a little weight.  But my main issue was a lot of the worry I put on myself.  But sometimes, it works out.  And I'm glad it did for you, Lauren!  This line really stuck with me:  "It can be exhausting, but most of the time I feel the way I did the very first time: empowered and spiritual. I want to encourage all new moms out there to be strong. We are all capable of surprising ourselves with what we can do. "  Lauren blogs at Momma Moonpie. <3




When i was pregnant, every time I dreamt of Harmony I was breastfeeding her. I was fascinated with how it was going to feel. I knew I wanted to try it and I was determined to stick with it. I told myself formula was not an option for us. So, when she was born and she latched on with ease I felt so overwhelmed with joy. The time had finally come, here I was feeding my baby with my body. It felt empowering, spiritual, pure, raw...

Those initial feelings did not last very long. I began to feel this intense anxiety about whether or not I was doing it right. I kept asking the nurses at the hospital to show me again (and again) but I felt like each nurse showed me a different way. How was I going to do this on my own? I was putting so much pressure on myself because I was terrified to fail. 

Then came the engorgement. Even though I went to a breastfeeding class and researched as much as I could I was not prepared for that experience. Each nursing session began with me letting out a scream and ended with me crying. My breasts were so massive and rock hard that Harmony couldn't latch on properly and it was taking a toll on my nipples. I was so concerned about feeding times and diapers I just kept pumping, feeding, and pumping. At one point I looked down and saw blood going into the bottle because my nipples had cracked. I felt like I couldn't think about anything else. I was consumed and spent so much of that time crying and stressed out. I am grateful my husband was home with me and was so supportive because I would have surely given up without him. 

At her first well baby check up, the doctor told us she has lost over 10% of her body weight and that made me feel even worse. We had to syringe feed Harmony because she was still having trouble latching and I was too afraid to let her use a bottle. I went to see a lactation consultant 2 times to make sure she was eating enough and to learn about different positions to help her latch when I was engorged. I just kept telling myself it was the best thing for my baby and that I was lucky my problem was too much milk rather than not enough. Eventually it got easier, I became more relaxed, and she gained back all of her weight ! 

I have now been exclusively breastfeeding my active daughter for 8 months now. Nursing her in bed at night is the only time she slows down and cuddles with me. I remember when she turned 3 months I said to my husband "I have finished 1/4 of my time breastfeeding, only 9 months to go!" Now, I don't see an end in sight. I hope I can continue to breastfeed her for years, or as long she wants. It is not always easy...lately it's been harder than ever! Some nights, when I wake up feeling like a raisin, I wonder if I can handle it. The nights when she eats THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH. The days when she won't stop biting, twisting, scratching, pinching, and stretching me every which way. It can be exhausting, but most of the time I feel the way I did the very first time: empowered and spiritual. I want to encourage all new moms out there to be strong. We are all capable of surprising ourselves with what we can do. 

Thank you for reading my little story and a big thanks to Danielle for being so kind and for hosting this series! 



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1 comment:

  1. I'm interested in doing an adventures in breastfeeding entry!

    ReplyDelete

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