Friday, June 28, 2013

//A Journey//

I'm in a very "eat, pray, love" mode of life and it's funny I say that because I have never seen the movie.  I really want to. (should I?  Is it worth it?)  I feel as if the world is eternally folding itself out before me- the universe is beckoning with beauty and choices.  The beautiful option of choice.  What do I want and how do I want my life to look?  If you are spiritual, you may ask God- but I'm starting to believe that it's the other way around.  Our lives are short and filled with the sharp pain of brevity, yet full with the heightened awareness that comes along with it.

I'm going to be painfully honest (painful on my end) and say I'm not sure how much I really know myself.  I'm sure we could all say that and will always say that.  We learn more and change more, always developing our life through our experiences.  Yet, lately I feel as if my little circle of vision has been expanding.  Maybe it's because I am a mother now and teaching my children has helped me to realize I need a lot of teaching as well.  When I became a parent, I also became this breastfeeding, natural birth lovin' mama.  The pre-baby me would never have thought of those things, but it seems to have opened this door for me.  Now, I have been realizing the beauty of being a woman like I never have before.  To be honest, so many of my supposed "morals" have been changed.  What I find acceptable has been growing because my view of love has grown.  When I had Elliot- I could not imagine loving him any less and it seems that love has only grown.  How can we put such limitations on our dreams and on what love is?

I was not raised with a very high view of woman, and I can see how unfortunate that is.  I was not allowed to call boys, even friends, until I was a junior in high school.  Yet, my brother never had that same restriction.  Why wasn't I allowed to? Because of how it would look, of course.  (I know my parents did the best they could, though)

So, I think I'm going on a bit of a journey.  Maybe it's the super-cheesy self discovery kind, but I hope it's not. I'd love to post the new things I learn about myself and how my understanding continues to change.  I'd love this to be a place where I can challenge the fears of my past- where I record my journey with feminism, along with the daily life photos.  You'll see me grow as a mother, photographer, wife and I hope I can help inspire you all to continue to do the same.  Being a woman is a beautiful thing and it's been hidden for too long.  


2 comments:

  1. So proud of you. It takes a lot to check down at the bottom of the foundation for cracks and so much more to deal with it, repairing what you find and moving on. You are indeed a beautiful woman and that is a lot

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    1. love you, Colleen! thank you! Also, I think my kids touched my phone because I just saw your texts. It's Saturday, so I'm going to text you a little later. (I almost sent you a text at 7 am! haha)

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