Friday, November 30, 2012


I don't want this to be a negative post, so I will only write on what I don't like for a second.  I believe it to be extremely unfortunate that women are choosing to be competitive instead of choosing community.  How sad to see mothers competing with each other!  And over their children nonetheless.  Our children are so innocent in this, and yet they are unavoidably involved.  So, this is what I don't like.  This is what I do:

I believe in the old saying, "It takes a village to raise a child."  Rather than be competitive, let's view other children as we would our own, giving them the same respect and honor.  Without community, we put so much pressure on the parents to "do it all."  The technique of attachment parenting is making a comeback, and this is good- but what we fail to realize is even with this approach we cannot do it all.  We should have community- family and friends who help us raise our children.  They are involved and we can trust them.  They love our children and we love theirs, and it is this bond that helps us stay sane.  Being a parents is such a huge job.  In fact, it's more than a job- it is part of our identity.  It's part of us spiritually and it's how we teach our own children to view spirituality.  

Well, what does this look like?  What does it look like for a community to raise their children together?  Traditionally, images of your great aunt giving you a smack when she caught you sneaking a cookie might come to mind, but I would challenge this discipline theory.  It is not the discipline that is most important, but it's the sharing of joy.  It's when we teach our children pleasure and to enjoy life- to seek commitment as a fulfilling reward, rather than a burden, that we see a genuine community take shape.  

On Thanksgiving, we took a walk to the local school's football field with some friends.  They began to play a friendly game of football (as I sat and nursed Asher haha).  Elliot, having no idea what football is, just followed them around- running and laughing and yes, screaming.  He was enjoying the game, yet in a different way than the others.  He was enjoying their enjoyment.  This is how our kids learn true play.  They are born with the desire for good things, and when they see others fulfilling that desire, they naturally want to join!  And as a mother, what a pleasure to watch!

We live on the other side of the country from our family, so our community is a little different.  We are apart of a great group and are very blessed to have such great examples for our children!  Let's put aside the pressure and simply live.  Live lightly, so our children will feel less burdens.  

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