Monday, September 17, 2012

Remembering a Love

It's funny how a desire to do something can come at the most inconvenient of times.

It's ironic, really.  My writing has always been based on my feelings- the sudden inspiration, the urge to write down the feeling, give it words.  I remember seasons of my life in feelings, and these feelings cannot be described simply.  They are not merely happy or sad moments, but complex and frequently, without words.  Until the heavens give them to me.  Divine Inspiration.  So, how funny that the feelings have come again!  The ache to scribe again, fulfill an image in my mind.  Mold it all with words, as delicately or rough as I desire.  Raw or passed through the fire.  Descriptive because it describes me.

This comes now.  As I've doubled my offspring.  Always feeding one or soothing another.  It's the most tender of times, but it's time consuming, and I see it's humorous attempts.  It's funny, but it's not.  I can laugh, though.  I should always laugh.

For now, this fulfills some of the urge.  It quiets me.  I'm writing loosely.  Without the boundaries that come from the tamed- the learned, the elite.  Where it flows, it does not.

I remember this love among forgotten dirty diapers that lay at my feet, the remains of a quick morning ritual.  I remember this love among a sleepy child, who has woken up and fallen back asleep a couple times and I hold my breath, thinking that if I do, he may find rest.  I remember it among the spit up, the hiccups, the clingy snuggles, the love.  I remember the love among a love.  It's all love and it will all fulfill itself among the days.

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