“I've seen women insist on cleaning everything in the house before they could sit down to write... and you know it's a funny thing about housecleaning... it never comes to an end. Perfect way to stop a woman. A woman must be careful to not allow over-responsibility (or over-respectabilty) to steal her necessary creative rests, riffs, and raptures. She simply must put her foot down and say no to half of what she believes she "should" be doing. Art is not meant to be created in stolen moments only.”― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype
A cloud visited our yard the other night; after a few days of rain and miserable humidity. It creeped down our rock-mountain, over the vines and fallen trees and settled on the grass; on our yard. I watched it arrive from our window. I was washing dishes and glanced behind me and saw it, I had to use the bathroom and I peered out and window and there it was and I knew it was only a visitor. It was the slowly arriving house-guest. The days were sticky.
I had so many things to do. When people say their houses are dirty and show me a few toys on their clean carpets or papers piled on their shiny counter-tops I laugh. I feel as if I am always cleaning, tidying, walking after my kids with stretched-thin arms cleaning, cleaning, reminding. Yet, everything seems dirty and not the sort of dirty I'd post on instagram and say "look at my messy house." It's really messy and I'm left wondering how a writer is supposed to write? How is a woman supposed to feel?
But a cloud visited the other night and the fog was thick in our yard. Our yard is a bit wild, but the mist was jungle-like; I was wild woman- queen on top a fallen tree trunk because I dropped the dishes, threw the broom, left my laundry piles and remembered that clouds don't visit often.
If our responsibilities are blocking our creativity it means that there are a few responsibilities that can wait. It means that there will always be cleaning, as long as we are living there will be rooms to tidy, clothes to wash. I've gotten consumed with the cleaning and less with the creating lately; I'm happy that cloud reminded me to live a little more.